Author: Irks and Quirks

Peacocks

An embarrasment of panda’s and other quirky animal nouns…

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2 minute read. Ok, so how do I explain this post? It’s totally random but by now you’ve probably established this blog has somewhat quirky tendencies (and if you haven’t realised this, or you’re a new reader…hello! This blog has slightly quirky tendencies….so now you’re all caught up). …Anyway… …Have you ever been minding your own business browsing the internet and just suddenly wondered ‘hey…what the damn hell do I call a group of pandas when they’re just hanging out?’…because I refuse to accept that I am the only one who has random thoughts like this. (well guess what, you’re still reading, so you do too. Welcome to the weird random thoughts club, you’re in it for life there is no way out). So anyway, I find out what a group of pandas is called and after getting caught in an hour-long YouTube spiral of random unrelated videos, I discovered pandas aren’t the only odd collective noun. But who came up with these names? Because now I have list I’m both proud and resentful of…here …

Bad Fruit

Can we please talk about expiration dates? A mini-ish rant…

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3 minute read. I promise I’m not disgusting. It’s just that (honest it’s not gross), sometimes (and by sometimes, I mean all the damn time), I eat produce past its best before date. The best before date was the 1st of the month, it’s the 6th of the month…and…I’m still eating that produce. Because it’s still good. Even though it’s days ‘out of date’. It’s. Still. Good. (OK, fine I’m a little disgusting). In all seriousness it bugged me that I had to explain to a friend that it was OK to eat a banana which was (according to the packaging) days out of date…even though it was still green. Turns out she just throws her food out as soon as it hits the date on the packet…because it must absolutely be bad, otherwise the packet wouldn’t have a best before date on it, right? Wrong. Just to be perfectly clear, I’m not telling you to go eat that item in the back of your fridge with the mould growing on it – that…that, and …

5 Coffees from around the world…

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3 minute read. A famous philosopher once said, ‘A bad cup of coffee is most definitely better than none.’ I have two thoughts on this: I have yet to have a bad cup of coffee (this could be down to desperation and a willingness to settle for anything containing caffeine – read: addiction ) There is a slight chance I made up that quote, (but in all honesty, only future generations can decide if they consider me to be a famous philosopher, so…there’s that). Anyway…I’m crazy for coffee. I can’t start my day right without a steaming cup of this miracle beverage. It makes those dull and dreary early mornings go from drab to fab, and massively increases my tolerance levels of the rest of my species. I’m that person in front of you at Starbucks with the coffee order that sounds like a speech.  But I’ll also keep it simple – black with two sugars if you’re making it. As long as I get my recommended daily allowance of caffeine somehow, I’m…full of beans …

Boom box

5 favourite things about the 80s…

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2 minute read. It is a truth universally acknowledged that the 80s has a hell of a lot to answer for. So, scrunchie your up perm into a high pony, pull your legwarmers up over your spandex athleisurewear (in any appropriate shade of retina-frying neon), EQ the bass on your boom box, and get ready to Jazzercize your way through this blog post. We’re going to…Celebrate and Bust a Move while Free Fallin’ into the Final Countdo– you know what? You know what?! I am…not sorry. But, I’ll stop with the 80’s puns. I just get a little excited sometimes……It’s Like That…and that’s the way it is and if you don’t understand the references, I am both equally ashamed and slightly envious of the life you have led. Also, if you’re still reading…thank you! My top 5 fave things about the 80s: The Cube: I mean, come on. Are you even legally allowed to mention anything 80’s related without mentioning the cube? I’m certain it’s a crime punishable by law. And even though technically it …

Single Dog

Happy Singles Awareness Day…

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2 minute read. If you were part of a couple…Happy belated valentine’s day! If you weren’t and you shame-ate a box of heart-shaped chocolates in bed, then cry-drank a bottle of merlot over the kitchen sink (no? just…just me? Because if so…)…um………… …then congratu-freaking-lations you survived the most pressure-filled-romance day of the year and have safely made it through to Singles Awareness Day! A day dedicated to letting you know…you don’t need to be part of a couple to be fulfilled and happy…it’s OK for you to be alone despite the increasingly thinly-veiled comments from your family about marriage and babies and biological clocks …and you tell yourself that you fully support this day, and your support doesn’t in any way shape or form subtly reek of desperation and bitterness but-maybe-that’s-why-I’m-drawn-to-it…*continues typing in #proudfuturecrazycatlady #onlyveryslightlybitter #kiddingnotkidding* … … Here’s 5 ways to celebrate your singledom: Shame-eat a box of heart-shaped chocolates and cry-drink a bott-…oops no, this one’s for a different list. We’re going to ignore this and pretend we never read it. Take yourself …

Yarn

Things I know because I’m old at heart…

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…I’m…a millennial… But I’m an elder millennial, so it’s…different. I just feel some things were better in bygone days, and occasionally wish my adult years had taken place in the before times. Even my hobbies aren’t ‘young’…reminiscing of the days of old…being in bed at a decent hour…shaking my head in dismay at the antics of the young’uns…and most important of all…being in bed at a decent hour.  Not saying I don’t like modern conveniences. Not saying I don’t like hanging out with friends…at sometimes questionable bars/clubs until stupid o’clock in the morning, and there’s no denying the benefits of interconnectivity. However, sometimes I feel like this: Friends…you can take me to the club if you must: That club must serve hot beverages and have armchairs. And we’re leaving by 8:30pm so I can get home by 9:00pm…and be in bed at a decent hour. What’s with this, ‘go hard or go home,’ ‘don’t stop the party, and ‘Mr DJ can you turn the music up?’ nonsense, hmmm? First of all… (Oh lookit, a list …

Veganuary recapitulation

The Veganuary Recapitulation…

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Yep, it’s another Veganuary post (I’m just assuming there’s going to be a few at this time). In summary…nowhere near as hard as I thought it would be… …I mean, full disclosure, I’m already vegetarian (is that cheating?) so in some ways I feel like it was bound to be easier than a hard core carnivore ditching meat and dairy in one go. My biggest issue was not giving up cheese like I thought it would be (I actually didn’t even think about it once…so now I’m questioning my whole life…I lived without cheese, didn’t think about it, didn’t miss it in any way shape or form…but just the week before I couldn’t go more than two days without it?! How does that work?). My biggest issue was that I didn’t realise just how much dairy there was in the most random places. I had many a this-can’t-possibly-contain-dairy-oh-crap-it-does moment, but otherwise, I didn’t really struggle. Here’s what being vegan for 31 days taught me: It’s probably going to be easier than you think: The hardest …

The 5 things I like about exericising…

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I’d like to preface this by saying I’m increasingly convinced that this whole enjoying exercise thing is a myth perpetuated by Big Gymnasium in order to keep us buying gym memberships. And when you actually stop to think about it…who is really benefiting from that membership you paid for but don’t use? Who?! Bet you’ve never thought about it that way before have you? I have written before about my passionate hatred of exercise (here, and also here amongst other places), and it still is very much an extremely passionate, all-consuming hatred. I have never looked forward to, nor have I ever enjoyed any kind of exercise session, and I’m at that age now where I believe that isn’t ever going to happen for me. I exercise because I know intellectually that it is probably (OK fine, completely) the right thing to do to in order to stay healthy…and admittedly (and this is a very…very…resentful admission), when I don’t work out at all, I feel like crap. It’s a conspiracy I tell you. I hate …

Teabags

And then the milk went in first. A mini-ish rant…

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If you know me, you may know I have a fondness for over exaggerating on occasion. I may make a mountain type of situation out of a molehill type of situation, and this…well, this situation probably isn’t going to be any damn different, sorry (but not really sorry). Now I know it’s just tea, but tea is a serious business M’kay? Here’s the deal. I am having a bit of a…….an active disagreement…with a friend because I – and I cannot stress this enough – I…innocuously…and…completely…non-judgementally…described a cup of tea she made for me as being…improperly brewed. …Because it was. (And all this time I thought tea was supposed to be a beverage to bring people together?) Whether you pour the milk in first or, whether you do it the right way (…no judgement…?), it turns out this is a thing people harbour very strong opinions about. Until recently, I didn’t know I was one of these people, and at this stage, I’m wondering how I could have been so unaware. So blissfully oblivious. I …

Resolutions

Resolutions I’d like some people to make…

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A little late, but welcome to 2020! I hope your journey here was exactly how you imagined it would be! If you’re anything like me, you fell into a snack and champagne induced coma at 20:00hrs and had a what-the-damn-feck-where-the-heck-am-I moment at midnight when the fireworks started going off. Also, I have to say starting 2020 in a pool of drool (at least it was mine this time) with crumbs in my hair is not the way I imagined seeing in the New Year…but it is what it is. *Shrugs*. Anyway, did anybody make any resolutions this year? Is this still a thing people are doing? I only know one person who made a resolution (to lose a few lbs) …starting for sure tomorrow…predicatbly it’s been tomorrow for almost two weeks now, and I’m not feeling confident about their resolution. Myself? I did not bother. I know I’ll throw myself into it for January, and by February 1st I’ll be acting like I don’t know what the hell a resolution even is – come March, …