All posts filed under: Books | Words

Peacocks

An embarrasment of panda’s and other quirky animal nouns…

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2 minute read. Ok, so how do I explain this post? It’s totally random but by now you’ve probably established this blog has somewhat quirky tendencies (and if you haven’t realised this, or you’re a new reader…hello! This blog has slightly quirky tendencies….so now you’re all caught up). …Anyway… …Have you ever been minding your own business browsing the internet and just suddenly wondered ‘hey…what the damn hell do I call a group of pandas when they’re just hanging out?’…because I refuse to accept that I am the only one who has random thoughts like this. (well guess what, you’re still reading, so you do too. Welcome to the weird random thoughts club, you’re in it for life there is no way out). So anyway, I find out what a group of pandas is called and after getting caught in an hour-long YouTube spiral of random unrelated videos, I discovered pandas aren’t the only odd collective noun. But who came up with these names? Because now I have list I’m both proud and resentful of…here …

What’s your NaNo Magic Number…?

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I wrote every damn day and didn’t. Even. Procrastinate. Once… …Okay, fine. I’m lying, and I know you know. And that is why I like you, you’re willing to entertain me and engage my lie. Oh, you’re not? Okay. That’s Cool… *Cries shamefully and hysterically* Here’s what happened. The first week I didn’t write anything. I wrote a title down…and that was three words long, and then there was nothing until about day 9. When I edited the title for an hour before deciding it was fine the way it was. Then around day 12 I started writing and wrote obsessively (that’s my pattern. Do nothing at first and then go H-A-M). I didn’t obsess over my word count or anything! The problem was…and I know it kind of contradicts one of the reasons I gave for why people should take part in NaNoWriMo earlier this month… I couldn’t resist revising, and editing, and questioning everything I typed as soon as I typed it…and it’s a problem I know…and I am working on it and…and…and…fine, …

NaNoWriMo and why you should write SOMETHING even if you’re not writing a novel…

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50,000 words a month. That’s a little over 1666 words a day. Just in case there was even the slightest iota of a chance that you didn’t already know (liar! It’s impossible not to know) it’s National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) again. Globally, aspiring authors are sequestering their persons and preparing to willingly drive themselves completely insane under the pretence of writing a novel in 30 days, and you know what? You could be one of them! In fact, you totally should be one of them. Here’s 5 reasons why you…yes you reading this sentence right now, should totally take part in NaNoWriMo…even if you’re not actually writing a novel: Um…so you can write that damn novel: Are you that person who has been talking about writing the next best-selling novel for the past 10 years? Do your friends and family groan and roll their eyes whenever you mention it, but you still think you can do better than J.K. Rowling? Do people doubt you when you say you’re going to write a novel someday …

10 more things that ruin a good book…

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If you’re a bookworm, you know the truth. That reading is basically an adrenaline fuelled, high-octane sport. And as with any extreme sports, it has its high points and some low points. For example, (and before you read this, please read the previous ‘Things that ruin a good book…’ post)…here’s some (more) things I think can ruin a good book. Being unable to find a comfortable reading position: The book is roughly the same size and shape as a cinderblock, and you refuse to download the eBook, because no matter what people say, it’s just. Not. The. Same. So, you end up hunchbacked on the sofa while your knees go numb from the weight of the book, then you try to read it laying down on your front in your bed, book propped on the pillow, chiropractor on speed dial, then on your back with the book in the air, where it betrays you by promptly falling on your face, knocking your glasses off and poking you in the eye even though you’ve shown it …

Things that ruin books…

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I love books and always have. I’m that person who would rather stay in and read, than go out and party (a book is like a party in your mind right?). But, I tend to find that no matter how great a book is. No matter how good the world-building, or how strong the characters, or how intriguing the plot…there are some things that leave me feeling cheated. Surely, I can’t be the only one who gets unnecessarily infuriated by the following: The “It was just a dream” ending… This is something that has irked me since I was a kid. You know how it goes. The plot drew you. You were left laughing, and crying, and scratching your head wondering how the main character was ever going to get out of whatever sticky situation they were in because every possible outcome you could imagine was completely illogical…then you get to the end and it was all just a dream. Like, what? I am lose use of properly English to explain how much I hate this. …

Don’t fight the bibliophilia…

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I tried not to buy a new book last month. I really did try. Then I realised I was being an idiot, and I bought a book. And then, before I paid for that book I realised that book would be lonely…and what kind of monster would buy a single book and take it home to books it has never even met before – that’s how you give an innocent book a complex – at least if there’s two of them from the same shop they have each other right? And anyway, it wasn’t real book shopping because I bought it used from a charity shop, therefore it wasn’t technically new and didn’t count.  And when you think about it, I was supporting a worthy cause. And if you’re going to do that you might as well go H.A.M right?! Cos otherwise you’re just a heartless, stingy… …long story short, my new bookcase arrives next week. I guess what I’m getting at is I really like books. And it’s becoming a bit of a problem. …

Why do people laugh if you say you want to write?

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I love…like L-O-V-E all things books, writing and word related. Books = slight (yes, slight) obsession  (regardless of what the family say – I think it’s perfectly acceptable for an adult to have a full-scale toddler-style meltdown because they only have 50 unread books left in the house, so…). But you know what I mean, when you tell people you want to write  – ideally for a living – you’re not taken seriously. There’s a social gathering, and after the initial round of faux-polite introductions someone starts the whole what do you do thing. And it’s fine for the first couple of people: “I’m an accountant” someone says. Everyone smiles and nods politely there’s a ‘witty’ joke about taxes. “I’m a teacher” someone says. Everyone smiles and nods politely and another ‘witty’ joke about never working with children/animals, and then you say some variation of “I’m an aspiring writer”…and the others exchange sideways glances. A deathly silence fills the room. A huge ball of tumbleweed rolls through. And then the questions begin (and by the way, your aspirations aren’t cool enough for you to get …