2 minute read.

Ok, so how do I explain this post? It’s totally random but by now you’ve probably established this blog has somewhat quirky tendencies (and if you haven’t realised this, or you’re a new reader…hello! This blog has slightly quirky tendencies….so now you’re all caught up).
…Anyway…
…Have you ever been minding your own business browsing the internet and just suddenly wondered ‘hey…what the damn hell do I call a group of pandas when they’re just hanging out?’…because I refuse to accept that I am the only one who has random thoughts like this. (well guess what, you’re still reading, so you do too. Welcome to the weird random thoughts club, you’re in it for life there is no way out). So anyway, I find out what a group of pandas is called and after getting caught in an hour-long YouTube spiral of random unrelated videos, I discovered pandas aren’t the only odd collective noun. But who came up with these names? Because now I have list I’m both proud and resentful of…here it is

Here’s my top 5 collective nouns for groups of animals:

An intrusion of cockroaches: When is a group of cockroaches anywhere, at any time anything other than an intrusion? Exactly. Well, no not exactly. I hear people actually…eat them? And some folk are trying to sell them as a cheap protein source…and…there’s this girl…this ten-year old girl who ‘collects’ tanks of them and breeds them in her bedroom…and…*shudders* …AND!! I read this article about cockroach milk being a superfood…and I just feel so done with the world.

A memory of elephants: Yes, the most commonly used term is herd, but where is the sense in being boring when we don’t have to be? Have you ever heard of a more appropriate name for a group of animals with reportedly phenomenal memories? It’s amazing! I think the elephants would approve.

An ostentation of peacocks: We all know how pompous and pretentious peacocks are. And apparently, they are aggressive as heck (I have no proof of this other than a friend of mine was once chased by a peacock).

An embarrassment of pandas: See we got there in the end.  But what exactly is embarrassing about pandas? Nothing, they’re adorable! But I’m guessing pandas themselves are shy, so they are embarrassed? Can anyone clarify this? But also, a bamboo of pandas. Or an amalgamation of pandas…or a cupboard of pandas. A cupboard. Of pandas. This sounds both cute and cuddly as feck…but also, so freaking sinister to me.

A murder of crows:  My personal favourite. You know how when you see a field full of crows it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and fills your head with visions of sunshine, unicorns and rainbows? Well, that’s why they’re called a murder. A murder of crows.
Murder.
It’s awesome!
It resonates with me on so many levels.
Its okay. I know I’m a little odd. No, I’m not worried about it.

5 Honourable mentions:

• A tower of giraffes
• A crash of Rhinoceroses
• A flutter of butterflies (or a kaleidoscope of butterflies)
• Flamboyance of Flamingo’s
• Caravan of Camels

You didn’t know you needed this list in your life. You’re welcome.