Month: October 2018

Things I never did at Halloween…

Published by

I was never actually allowed to take part in anything Halloween related. In my house it was called The Devils Birthday. And obviously, if you celebrated The Devils Birthday it would clearly lead to a proclivity for witchcraft…or a romantic encounter with a (iridescent?) vampire…or demonic possession or something worse which would lead to my soul being eternally condemned to hell.  So…there was that. There are a lot of Halloween experiences I missed out on. I tried to rectify some of this as an adult with varying levels of success, but the problem is all these years later…even though I’m grown-ass now…I’m genuinely afraid of demonic possession at this time of year. And the only demon I wish to be affiliated with is the one on my shoulder which encourages me to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach. I should buy shares in my local supermarket. Anyway. I’ve also never: Trick or treated: Once, and only once, I managed to negotiate with my family and the trick-or-treating happened (and by negotiate, I mean I lied …

When it comes to fashion and beauty, I’m so damn lazy…

Published by

My wardrobe is…varied…um, expansive…and…expressive. My wardrobe is a constant. The foundation upon which my very sense of self is built. An outlet I use to express my individuality……personal style……and also……lies. Those statements were lies. My wardrobe is not even one of those things…and my makeup box is even less. It currently consists of a tube of foundation I’ve had for I’d-prefer-not-to-tell-you-how-many-years, and an…well…I started out like there was going to be more than one item. Anyway, I promise you it is nowhere near as bad as certain friends would have you believe. Look, I’m not going to win any style or beauty awards any time soon that’s for damn sure, but if you want to know about comfort…I’m your damn girl. If you were to listen to certain friends and family members you’d think all I ever wore in life, or to any event ever was skinny jeans, canvas pumps and a roll-neck jumper. When in actual fact, here’s what I currently have in my wardrobe: 4 pairs of jeans (skinny, grey) 4 pairs of …

My realistic morning routine…

Published by

So, you saw the title and clicked expecting to be treated to mantras, morning-yoga and masterfully crafted Instagram-worthy smoothie bowls all the colours of the rainbow… …oops. Sorry. That’s erm…that’s not going to happen. While, I can’t speak for you, I can say with the utmost confidence that my life just doesn’t flow that way. Not-a-one-bit. Especially first thing in the morning. It’s all too damn perfect, and honestly I refuse to believe that anybody actually experiences that type of perfection when they wake. Definitely not anybody I know, and definitely…not…me. When I wake up, I have sleep in my eyes, I’m covered in drool and there are days when I barely remember who I am, where I am, or why I set an alarm in the first place. And I can’t be the only one who has mornings like that, right? I’m not hating on anybody, I’m not trying to make anybody feel bad (I will admit, I might be exhibiting a classic case of smoothie-bowl envy), I just like reading about realistic routines…makes me …

You know you love food when…

Published by

I don’t know about you, but I’m that person who wakes up today and wonders what’s for dinner tomorrow. An unnecessary amount of my day is spent thinking about food. I love food. I love eating food, I love talking about food, I love (and it’s not weird), watching people while they eat their food (…it’s……research, not…weird, Jessica. Research). In fact, now that I think about it, the majority (and by majority, I mean all) of the significant relationships and friendships I have ever had were founded on food because, all the best relationships just are. And I feel like I don’t get to talk about food and eating as much as I would like, and it’s just not fair when I stop to think about it…which is more often then I’m willing to admit publicly. The thing is, a love of food causes problems. You start to assume other people feel the same way you do, and it’s a nasty shock to the system when you realise this isn’t true. I once worked with …